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WH Wants More N. Korea Options from Pentagon, Receives George Foreman Grill-Launching Trebuchet

Updated: Aug 25, 2019

The Impotent Satyr

Trebuchet launching a George Foreman Grill
"Sure, the grills level entire homes, but think of the endless paninis they get to make. Democracy, son."

President Trump has grown frustrated in the last few weeks with the Pentagon's non-militaristic options to deal with North Korea. General H R McMaster has successfully kept the White House occupied with plans thrown together in minutes. Besides the panini catapult, other plans submitted to temporarily subdue the president include: 1) Gathering the entire clown population in America and dropping them from airplanes--no parachutes--killing two birds with one stone 2) Allowing Mike Pence to act out his one-man play "Alone In the Goat Pen" on a ship in the Korea Bay 3) Scraping the inside of Mitch McConnell's jowls, harvesting the rich deposits to further develop our nuclear arsenal

4) Reunite Seal Team 6, dress them up as a Mariachi band, and send them to the small city of Sohung where they play in local venues until they reach a bigger audience. They then tour the countryside, attracting the attention of Kim Jong-un's nephew who begs his uncle to book them a gig in the Pyongyang palace garden. It's there that the Seals reveal themselves after the fourth song and take the Korean leader out once and for all to a nice Mediterranean Grill and hash this whole thing out over some beef skewers. It's these plans that keep Trump's war-hungry stomach satiated for the time being. That and the zip lock bag of Cheerios Rex Tillerson keeps in his breast pocket.

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