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Kim Jong-un on Donald Trump: "I Will Tame the U.S. Dotard With a Kamehameha"

Updated: Aug 3, 2019

The Impotent Satyr

Super Saiyan Kim Jong-un smoking a cigarette
"Wanna see me fly to that submarine and back? Wanne see me do it again?

A recent report from North Korea reveals that Kim Jong-un had halted his nuclear weapons program for 6 months because he believed he could "achieve super Saiyan abilities" in that time and destroy America with a Kamehameha.

Kim, an avid anime fan, purportedly spends his days watching the long-running Japanese sci-fi pugilist animation DragonBall Z--with Super Saiyans (flying, all-powerful monkey humanoids--an improbable creature) being the strongest beings in the universe. However that hasn't stopped the illustrious Chairman of the Workers Party from claiming to have achieved such power. When the nuclear program was reinstated and detonations were felt throughout the country, Mr Kim declared that he'd reached the super Saiyan state, and the vibrations experienced were the result of ki blasts shot from his palms. Any questions about these claims are met with the usual North Korean hospitality: trial by firing squad. Picture included is the official propaganda released from Pyongyang.

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